Jesus gathers his disciples together to send them out to the world, knowing that they will be all torn up by the various causes and desires and troubles that pull for their attention. He wants them to focus on what is most important. He says to them something like this. “Don’t be afraid. I have my eye on the sparrows. What do you have your eye on? Want to connect with me? Choose well. Lose your life as you know it and you will find me.”
I can relate to those disciples. Can you? I had the most frustrating and liberating few hours yesterday and wow it was amazing how my spirit fluctuated through it all. It began with a simple annoying thing with my cell phone, which for many of us, is also our camera, our computer, and our connector (apologies here to God who is of course The Connector and don’t you forget it!) Well I did forget it because when my cell phone started delaying and then not sending or receiving pictures and emails and instead putting them in what it so smartly called a “queue” I began to lose it. Slowly and steadily, the longer that my messages got stuck in the queue, the more frustrated I became.
One and then two trips to the phone store only made it worse. A call out to Google was a dead end. “We are free but there is nobody you can talk to!” It was quite weird that I would get so caught up in anxiety – after all I did have email service on my laptop. But that little traveling “small c” connector was slow and stuck and that was not good. Finally I figured out that it was not syncing and then I got the message from the Messenger (aka the Connector.) Marguerite, you are out of sync. You have fallen off the path and you need to take a break from feeling the falsehood that you are in control, able to see and do what needs to be done in a flash, and that all is well if only you are synced. Not.
I pushed the darn sync button (Who is pushing my button?) No connection. Still waiting in line. All cued up. With no connection I left the house and the phone behind and went swimming at the State Forest and got connected big time. Swimming. Breathing. Seeing. Smelling. Hearing. Praying. Letting God back into my day. By the time I got home I was so happy to be still out of computer-world syncopation because I could breathe again. Today the queue emptied out or the phone got synced up. Who knows? I am going to tune in to the God station more often.